Classic car mechanic – Funny sums

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

It’s February already and the 2 motorcycles that between us Eric and I own have been used exactly no times whatsoever. I also have 2 pedal bikes, one road, one mountain. The road bike has been used zero times this year. The mountain bike even less than that.

When you consider the cost of running these things, servicing, insurance and so on, whilst the numbers maybe modest for this type of machinery, divide the annual cost by the usage and you get a pretty shocking ‘£ per hour’ number.

I’ve been avoiding it but, in the end, had a quiet word with myself and did the same calculation with the old 996 I run. I did very little mileage last year, but lots of maintenance work. For this particular ‘£ per hour’ calculation I am pretty sure I could’ve rented a Lamborghini for the driving and had enough left over to hire a celebrity chef to rustle me up something tasty afterward.

The UK is an ownership economy. We like to have our names on the deeds. Renting is dead money after all, no? Well, continental Europe (from whom we have severed many a tie) seem to have much less of a hang-up on renting when required. Granted, a general observation of European city centres would suggest they care less about cars than we do but still, there is a discernible direction of travel toward better use of assets by paying when needed and, well, not when not.

The trouble lies in emotional attachment to inanimate objects. We love our classics and our toys. Part of the ownership experience is in the cherishing. If I were to half the cost of ownership and rent what I currently own, then I would think of the machines in a very different way. I wouldn’t love them I’d just use them. I would think of features as faults and rather than be less materialistic, I would be more a hard-nosed consumer of goods, pleased with the efficiency of my clever little renting structure rather than delighted at the joy of experience.

So, I’ve cancelled the Lamborghini rental agreement and I’ve made a grovelingly apologetic call to Ansley Harriott (he was furious). Time to go and inject some more time into the cost equation, God knows the £ side of things needs balancing. Who’d have thought it, enjoyable maths.

This week, things have been a bit edgy in the workshop. Shrimp-eye Justin forgot to make Alfie a mid-morning cuppa when he was making a brew for all. When he asked for the BMW manifolds, he didn’t expect to receive them where he got them. Still, at least Alfie is guaranteed to get tea from now on.

(Shrimp-eye never lies in this position now. Once bitten (so to speak))

Alfie made this little fella at college this week. I have absolutely no idea what it is or what it does. Looks complicated though.

(I once bent a paperclip into an entirely different shape. Would that count as engineering?)

Last week’s Lancia has been de-rusted (technical term) and now painted up and ready for anything global warming can chuck at it.

(out with the old)

(in with the new)

This is a stunning car, it really is. A 1933 MG-J2. £199 when new (apparently affordable at the time).

(So old, Eric barely remembers them from his youth)

New trainee Jake has joined the gang.

(Jake has been closely observing Shrimp-eye and this week broke out his own version of ‘the robot’. Nice work)

A bit of a miss from last week, but Dr Ray has been at it again. Serial collector of random mechanical nik-nakkery and obsessive motorcycle collector, a gorgeous Triumph 955 finds it’s way into the surgery.

(gotta love a yellow Trumpet)

Finally, Will (I aint) gets busy quality checking recent diff work.

(Sensibly, Will is not going to ask for a BMW manifold. And in case anyone wants to proffer one, he’s assumed a protective position. Lesson for the Shrimp-eye there….)

So from the gang at CCM, Eric, Siobhan, Tasha, Dr Ray, Shrimp-eye Justin, Young Chris, Izzi, Ingrid, Alfie, Will (I aint) and Jake have a great week.

Ollie

(ps. Eric, if Ainsley rings, tell him I’m out)