No school like the Old Skool

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

I’ve decided to leave the quiet corner of the workshop this weekend and make the trip up North to Liverpool to visit my mother.

I’m running low on stocks of fresh rags and the new arrival (‘Gerald the parts washer’) is making me feel increasingly uneasy. I’m sure I keep catching him looking at me funny.

Dr Ray is besotted. He and Gerald have become inseparable. So much so that the Doctor’s beautiful DT175 has been completely stripped and ‘Gerald-ed’ during many a lunch hour over the course of the week.

I mention this because it demonstrates behaviour exhibited by many a tech at CCM.

Obsessive attention to detail and ‘rightness’.

We’ve had CCM operating for a full quarter-year now and there is a phrase which has permeated the very fabric of the building…… ‘leave something alone long enough and Dr Ray’ll paint it’.

Everything has to be right and correct. Care. Attention. This is good news for our customers. This attitude is carried across to all we do. For me it’s a mixed bag through.

A couple of weeks back I did the oil change on the Suzuki 750 Eric and I share. I really wish I could just erase the whole episode from memory. But no, I keep getting detailed replays of my morning’s work.

You’ll remember shrimp-eye Justin was giving me live feedback whilst I was carrying out the work (if tutting loudly can be considered feedback that is) and that Eric then sent me photos of things I’d failed to re-attach after the event. Well today I’ve been sent further photographic evidence of the clean-up job the techs have had to do following on from my moment in the spannering sunshine.

(Dr Ray fixing my 'work')

On top of this, Shrimp-eye Justin has also done the fiddly job of re-fitting the seat bushing that he spotted nestling on the floor from a full 20-yard distance the day after.

On top of the on top of, Eric also had to re-pressurise all tyres, something I’d omitted to do as part of the ‘service’.

I did one small job, and like a hurricane having moved through a mid-West cowboy town, there is much clearing up to do.

Not only has razor-sharp handling now been restored (good news) but there has also been (unbeknown to me) a ‘tech emergency conference’ called (bad news).

Late one evening Eric gathered the troops. The workshop was quiet and still. The mood sombre.

Eric cleared his throat with a dry cough and prepared to address team CCM.

‘Now I know he means well, and because his heart is in the right place we should all support his little ideas and help him play safely. If he has a tinker on any one of the toys he, or (god forbid) I own, then I am holding each and everyone of you to account for going in afterward to double-check everything and then fix all the things he’s got wrong’

‘……..and under no circumstances is he ever, and I mean ever, allowed anywhere near a customer’s pride and joy. Is that clear?’

I am led to believe that there was much nodding.

And this does explain some odd behaviour in the workshop this week.

On Monday, I thought I’d tighten a small nut that had come lose on the left side of my ragbin.

I reached out for the nearest spanner and as I did so, I noticed a sudden hush descend. I paused. Arm still outstretched and looked around. The 3 techs were looking at me. I moved my arm slightly back. They all moved (at the same pace) back toward their work. I moved my arm slightly forward. The all moved (at the same pace) back toward my direction.

My eyes narrowed as the 4 of us where shaped into the mechanical equivalent of a Mexican stand-off.

Then I noticed Eric glaring at me from the office.

The odds were against me. I knew that the moment my hand wrapped itself around the adjustable (the only spanner I ever use) I would be rugby-tackled to the floor by young Chris.

It was no use. The boys just couldn’t risk it.

‘What are you looking at?’ I said to Gerald through gritted teeth before retreating to my corner.

(Dr Ray, Shrimp-eye Justin and Young Chris get ready to foil an attempt at the spanners)

This week young Chris has been wielding the welding gun with a deftness and subtlety of touch more often seen in intricate tattoo work.

We’ve had a lovely old camper van in which on the surface, was a real beauty. Beneath this though is needed some real care and attention with some fairly comprehensive welding work.

The pictures don’t truly reflect the effort expended or the level of improvement attained. This fundamental groundwork will see this camper delivering many pleasurable miles for many years to come. It’s a daunting task on the face of it for customers faced with the dreaded tin-worm, but this is the sort of niggly problem the techs live for. Breathing life and love into cherished classics.

At times during the week young Chris has pointed the gun toward me and winked. I am unsure as to whether this was just a small gesture demonstrating his own happiness in the work he was carrying out, or if it was a darker manoeuvre aimed at intimidating me to stay in my place whilst the real artists laboured.

(Young Chris' artistic handiwork. Imagine what it would look like if it had been my work.... or maybe not)

Modern stuff still lands on the schedule for maintenance and on-going tech attention. This Peugeot 3008 is one of the newer members of the extended fleet we look after.

Shrimp-eye Justin emerged from the service looking bemused.

‘This lil fella’ he said thumbing a rearward nod to the Peugeot ‘tells you…..actually tells you… when you are approaching a corner’.

Many an eyebrow was raised and there was much marvelling at modern ‘microchip technology’.

As motoring enthusiasts we all wonder at the advancement in technology and where the motor car is going. It feels like every year we edge further toward convenience and user features whilst becoming more and more isolated from the joy and feel of driving. There is a genuine balance to be had between perfection and engagement which the best modern vehicles manage. When this balance is too far toward perfect, vehicles become less….human…. and more just ‘transport’.

Still, we like to ply our craft to all that cross our path. Modern or classic!

(Shrimp-eye Justin exits the Peugeot in technological wonderment)

Two beauties in red have taken much attention. First up is this stunning ‘stang.

Boxy styling done just right. Much aped since by many and even now the new mustang can trace it’s heritage visible back through the years to this vintage. There is something menacing about the positioning and surrounding styling of the lights that makes these bad-boys look aggressive. The newer models accentuate this. The older models are more subtle and nuanced. Still, in bright red it’s about as subtle as a slap in the face with a nine iron.

Eric has been at it again. A causal wander to one of the other residents on the estate has thrown up an opportunity to buy (sorry…invest) in another toy. This time an off-road whippet-like scrambler from Gas Gas.

(Gas Gas whippetry waiting to be thrashed)

When I received the pic I knew exactly what he was up to. The gaffer was yet again trying to lure me into another joint purchase just so he could then say to the lovely Ingrid ‘it wasn’t me… he talked me in to it…. You know what he’s like….’

I don’t know whether funds will allow at this point, however it is mighty tempting.

Finally, behind the scenes this week Siobhan has been updating and completing the reconciliation process for the booking and allocating of work. Whilst we all get excited about the stuff that comes through the door, to be able to operate in a modern environment and manage the workload and pipeline with efficiency, needs the processes around data management and reporting to be correct.

It’s difficult work to get right. It’s easy just to ignore and get on with something else. It is however one of the most important aspects of running any business successfully for the long-term.

When Eric and I sit down and reflect over the detail of how things have progressed and what it all means, the data we have is the real source of insight. Having this ordered correctly and attributed accurately tells the true story of where we are doing well and where we need to tweak. Great work Siobhan and much appreciated :-)

Finally, whilst back in the ancestral homeland I had a look through some of my old school reports from when I was in Juniors.

Fascinating reading. Also a stark difference to how children are assessed in modern times.

For me, my year as a 10-year-old was summarised on one flimsy sheet of paper. Today there are reams.

My teacher also gave me a position relative to my class-mates, the sort of competitive comparison which is completely avoided these days.

For this particular academic year at ‘St Michaels in the Hamlett Junior school’ I was 14th out or 45…14th!!!

When I land back in my corner of the workshop I am going to pin this on the wall…. And then any mention of ham-fisted oil changes will be met with an uncaring grin. I may be rubbish with the spanners but when it comes to a half-hearted academic assessment carried out before the internet was a thing, my teachers rated me a bit better than average. (And I suspect, should they still be alive, my teachers would have been furious at the ongoing mechanical disdain shown towards a clear academic high-achiever).

The gentle drive back down South beckons and so to another week in the world of Classics.

So, from Eric, Siobhan, Dr Ray, Shrimp-eye Justin, Young Chris, and Gerald our evil all-seeing artificially intelligent sentient being, we wish you all a safe and happy week ahead.

Olli